Snowy Day Musings

People! Why do I feel like its been forever?! Oh that’s right…because it has! Shame on me for not writing more but you know how this time of year goes. It’s snows, we bake cookies, we eat cookies, and then we are lazy. Lazy and not writing!

I’ve been complaining daily about our stupid driveway. Germans like their homes to look nice, not typically practical. So even though I made a fuss at the time about what will become of us when Winter hits us smack in the face, my ideas were ignored for the sake of vanity! Our driveway is steep and made of flat with no traction stones. Add piles of cold snow and ice underneath and you have me falling down the driveway day after day! Pretty sure I’m losing my mind but I’m happy to report that this time next week ill be on my plane heading home to the states!!! I will not return until January 11th and thank baby Jesus!! I will not think about our driveway whatsoever.

The other wonderful thing about winter in Germany is their complete lack of plow trucks. I think I’ve seen 4…in the whole country. We have a tractor in our town that comes around whenever he gets to it. The driver especially likes to take his time at the two churches we have in town as well as the holy monuments/fountains/statues around town. Quite literally removes himself from his little crap wagon and shovels by hand the whole church and what not. Wasting valuable time while people in their cars are panicking and having heart palpitations!

In other news, my book is almost finished! I’m at 180 pages and looking to complete between 250-300 pages! I expect all of you to buy 10 copies each. It’s important! But regardless I’m SO pleased to finally be done with that so I can start the fun editing process as well as searching for an agency and publishing house!

If I don’t get the chance to write you before the holidays (still no lap-top…life is hard!!) I wish you all a magnificent holiday with wonderful memories to add to your bank! Thank you all for following me for another year, I’m so grateful!

Until next time, Readers!!!! Xoxoxoxo

Mini-Honeymoon In The Alps

Toblerone got us a great gift for our mini-honeymoon and a combined bride’s gift. A trip to a 4 star spa hotel in the Alps! We went to the Panorama Hotel in Oberjoch and it was GORGEOUS! It’s a brand new place that opened in September this year so everything still felt fresh and brand new. No gross bed covers or any of that. The snow was falling all around us and the Alps were literally in the backyard.

The hotel had the most incredibly state of the art spa complete with different massages, facials, and the works. Along with a fitness center, an outside and inside swimming pool with an attached bistro, and 7 rooms in the sauna. This particular sauna was ‘textile free’ as they called it. Textile meaning clothing-free. You could wear your robe inside and wrap a towel around you but you looked like an outcast if you did so.

Ladies and Gentlemen….I am conflicted yet proud to report that I indeed went into the naked sauna for the first time in my life and enjoyed it. I actually preferred being in my birthday suit better than in a bathing suit. It was strange…At first I was giggling to myself like a school girl but eventually I was completely comfortable walking amongst the nakeds. But of course, my luck serves me right. In the middle of all the different saunas there was a community shower. More like a rinse off station. You’re loving the details aren’t you? Anywho…I hung up my towel and went into rinse off quickly before trying a different sauna and as I walked out of the shower I saw my towel walking away with a naked man. HE STOLE MY TOWEL!!!!! What are the chances that I was in a naked sauna for the first time in my life and my towel gets stolen. I mean…come on, that stuff only happens in movies….or my life!

Enough about the nakeds! so we freshened up after a lovely day just relaxing and doing a whole lot of nothing. Down in the lobby while we waited for dinner we were given complimentary glasses of wine and the highlight of my night was the bartender knew how to make a dirty martini and in fact had olive juice to make such awesomness. So far in Germany, after two years of searching I have gone without my favorite martinis.

The 5 course meal was incredible! My date was gorgeous and we’re wicked foodies lately so this was actually fun for us. We don’t get out much, can you tell? Of course I snuck photos of all my yummies!

We started with salads from the buffet and then an appetizer of Potato cake with avocado and mango salad and ham.

Next up to open up the stomachs I ordered the Apricot sorbet with pomegranate seeds.

Toblerone had the 3-fish pate.

Main course I had the fish which was a Zanderfilet however I don’t know what that is in English.

Toblerone had the deer meat (which is really popular here)

Dessert I ordered the Tiramisu and Toblerone helped himself to the cheese buffet.

And on that note….We’re going back again in March for 3 days. CAN’T WAIT to get my nakedness on and eat lots of awesome food! Since this place is directly in front of a ski mountain or rather a ski alp, we’ll be going skiing\snowboarding as well. Wish I could take you all with me. It’s hard to describe the amazing views we saw.

Until next time, Readers! xoxoxoxo

Vacation In The Alps: Day Two – Relax

For those of you just tuning in – Don’t forget to read Day One of our vacation here. 

Day Two

We woke up refreshed and as usual I sat outside on our balcony waiting for the cows to come outside from their barn. A little farm directly in front of us with 12 cows (yes I counted) and the first cow would always “moo” his way to the grass with the others following, as if to say, “Hey Blanche! The weather is great, come on out of your hole!” I think I want a pet cow. Just a little one. Maybe they have miniature ones? You know, like the miniature giraffe phenomenon.

So we started our day with the typical German breakfast which usually consists of bread/rolls, meats of all kinds, yogurt, oats, soft-boiled eggs, and more kinds of jams than I can comprehend. All homemade of course! After breakfast I was cursing myself for eating so damn much because 10 minutes following food would come our massages. Yes, massages. Just what the doctor ordered! These situations are always funny to me because of the awkward language barrier. I take off my robe and get on a table and the woman was very nice of course but she starts talking all fast and in crazy German and I’m totally lost. She got the hint and said nothing for the rest of the time. Then came out the elbows! She was digging into the millions of knots I have in my back and shoulders with her elbows! Those things are pointy!! Don’t people know that?! Lord, it was good though.

Of course after the massage I felt super calm and wanted to relax a little bit more on our balcony. Which I did completely naked except for my underwear. What? I’m trying to be a “European” these days! No one could see me anyways. We are on the second floor and completely guarded by walls. It was just naked old me, the sun, and the cows. As I’m laying there all the sudden a guy who works at the hotel goes tramping by my balcony. Checking on the water system or some such. What does he say as he sees me in my nakedness? “Good Morning!” HA! I bet it is indeed a good morning for you, buddy! However, my morning just went from totally relaxed to high-strung in a matter of glances! Of course this would happen to me. What are the odds?

After I calmed down slightly we decided it would be best to save face and head to town…fully clothed, mind you! We shopped around and walked the streets.It was sweltering hot so looked for a place to chill out and have some lunch. We ended up finding a nice outside restaurant with shade!

What better to have then a beer and jaegerschnitzel (this is pork in a creamy mushroom sauce)! Which was pretty good but the beer was better.

This town, Oberstdorf, is also a big winter-sports place. Complete with ski-flying jumps, ice-skating rink, and of course a million mountains for skiing/snowboarding. We went to check out the ski-flying jump (If there is a better English word for these, please inform me because I can not for the life of me remember anything!).

(Can you see up at the top? Where the jump starts? That’s where we were headed.)

Now, I was all for seeing this and taking a trip to the very top of it all. From the bottom all was grand, and the steepness of the hill was in perspective however, that’s a totally different perspective when you’re getting dragged up to the very top in a raggedy old ski lift!

As we went up I was wicked jittery and really nervous. This strikes me as odd only because I AM that person that lives for roller coasters and the thrill of it all. When I’m on a roller coaster – I’m bored. I usually laugh my way through it and when we get done, I’m probably the only one saying, “Isn’t there something more scary?” I’m crazy like that.

So we reach the halfway point and on the top of the hill is a little cafe and sitting area. We kept going. We take the Willy Wonka elevator in a diagonal motion which is strange in of itself. I get in the elevator and there is seating on one side and steps down on the other. So imagine this. On the left are two boys sitting down to my left and their fathers are stationed on the steps to my right. I’m standing in the middle on the flat platform. The walls have no windows. All the sudden we start moving and my body is set for going vertical however, this bitch is taking me Northwest! What in god’s name is happening here? Get me off this ride, Dorothy! So, as I get my bearings we reach the top and as soon as I walk out of the elevator, my knees go.

I’m like a big bowl of melting ice cream. I wasn’t going any further. Toblerone was so excited and snapping pictures right and left. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wouldn’t go to the very very top. Knees buckled beneath me and moving like jello, we walk the stairs up to the tippy top of this monstrous thing and there you have it. I’m holding on to dear life.

Literally as we walk around the small space I won’t move a foot unless my hand is touching something. Like Tarzan swinging from rope to rope however this was me swinging from ledge to flag pole to ledge. I realized at this moment, I have a fear of heights. Scratch off bungee-jumping from my list. NOT going to do that in this lifetime, thanks. The views were incredible though, honestly.

I’m not exactly sure how people decide to make this a sport. I mean, You put yourself on a slippery slope, which cuts off at the end and you just fly. I don’t have the parts to just do that. I’m also not a skier so this could also be my issue. I just don’t get it. MOVING ON. Apparently the record at this particular place was 225m which is 738 feet. Not too shabby I’d say!

                                                    (Check out these wild-flowers….beautiful!)

After this wonderful adventure which tested my fears we decided to go back to the hotel since it was so incredibly hot. I knew that today seemed to be a test of all sorts of things. Why not grasp this moment and experience things from a European’s perspective. This thought brought me directly to the Sauna. I could do this. It wasn’t an overly crowded thing so the odds of being in there with someone other than Toblerone were fairly slim. First stop of course though was the pool. My FAVORITE place to be. Put me in pool water and I won’t get out. I was that annoying kid that you had to tell 800 times to get out of the pool before you had to come and drag me out yourself. Some things never change. After swimming we tried out the infrared sauna which was interesting. I’m not sure what it does exactly but something with lights and if your back is red then it means the blood circulated properly. I don’t know, I just played with the pretty lights.

After that we walked up to the treehouse which held the saunas in it. We tried the steam room which wasn’t so bad. Then we tried the regular coal sauna. This particular sauna is never my thing. It’s much too hot and I think I can’t breathe so I normally don’t last longer than 5 minutes, if that. I tried my hand at the naked part (towel was still wrapped around me) but Toblerone let it all hang out. Here’s the fun part. This sauna is quite beautiful it’s very large and looks like a log cabin complete with a loft. There was a naked man up there at one point and he got too hot so he came down the stairs. Guess where I was sitting? Directly under the stairs. I got the show of a lifetime, people. Let me tell you! I won’t get into details but I’m sure you can imagine what I saw. End of story and end of my time in that sauna. I went by myself to the Steam Sauna where no one came in, not once and it was the best topless 10 minutes of my life. exhilarating and naughty all at the same time.

This is not my picture – from the hotel website but this is what the steam room looked like. Smelled like hay in there. 

Afterwards I went back to the pool and told Toblerone I would meet him for dinner. Tonight was typical Bavarian dinner. Bavarian = Oktoberfest. This region is known for some interesting foods so I wasn’t super excited. Kept thinking about how I hope they had some kind of normal food I could eat. Serenaded by two large men in their tiny lederhosen with traditional Bavarian music got me excited to put on my Dirndl and dance on tables with a glass of beer ten times the size of my head. The dinner was a buffet style so we were able to choose from all sorts of things. I’ll be honest, most of the things I got I didn’t eat but I tried all of them! That counts right? If you can figure out what these things are in the picture, all the more power to you!

Soup – Tomato cream soup (Originally menu called for liver soup but I asked for something else): 

Appetizer (lots of cheeses): 

Main Course:

Dessert – Apple filled fried donut with cream and berry sauce (SO good):

I was filled to the brim and seriously needed to get out. There was a soccer game on so we headed to town to watch the game in a quaint little bar. We had enough of the bar and felt so tired from the day and headed back to the hotel where they were showing the game on a giant projection screen. I knew this meant two things. 1. I wasn’t going to bed anytime soon and 2. Toblerone would wake up the whole hotel if a goal was scored. Both of those things happened.

It was a great day/night and I was feeling more relaxed every minute!!

Until next time, Readers!!! xoxoxoxo