Dress Like A German – Male Edition

You didn’t think I would skip out on how to dress like a German- Male Edition, did you?!!??! The Female edition was such a hit! I just couldn’t resist 🙂 No worries, gentlemen, fret not. You’re ultimate German Style guide is here!!

Again…just to be on the safe side, let me just note for the record that this is in no way a reflection on all the people of Germany. This is in fact my opinion as I see it! My husband is a German and doesn’t dress this way so there is still hope for the German race!

With such stunning role models like these two lads from the uhh…German boy band?….Tokio Hotel, how could the German men not be the most fashionable in the world, right?

To be fair, the Men style themselves a little bit better than most of the women that I’ve seen. However, German men are quite handsome. I see way more beautiful men than women…but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that most of the women try to look like dudes with their short hair and poopy pants. But stay with me…you will see that the men also seem to want to dress like the women… Oh Germany…you confuse me!

1. Skinnier-than-Kate-Moss Jeans
Oh boy, this is exciting stuff! I just want to ask them…so…”how’s it uhh….hanging? Like seriously…HOW?!?” Ok, come on guys..is this really comfortable?! Between the women wearing saggy diaper pants and the boys wearing all baring skin leggings I’m a bit concerned. I’m all for gender equality and for those whacko people that don’t want their kids to identify with one gender so they call them Sam and dress them in brown. BUT this…this has gone way too far! This is NOT helping things in the procreation department, of that I’m sure. I mean…what does one say, “Hey…uh…nice thighs. They have a great shape.”

2. Scarves and V-necks, Bro
We all have said it or heard it at some point. The Euro men are stereotypically known for wearing V-neck shirts and scarves. Well, I’m here with the proof. It is true. They do wear such things and actually the scarves look kinda sexy, the V-necks though….ehhh….save those for the ladies with cleavage will ya? Your chest hair, or lack thereof is NOT attractive. Barf. Let me be clear about this. There is a subtle V-neck and then there is the Wait-is-that-a-hairy-nipple V-neck. I’m talking about the latter.
This picture is literally from a club 45 minutes away from us. I can.not.stop.laughing.

3. Socks with sandals
Yet another stereotype that has absolutely been proven. This has just gone viral and I’ve been trying to help fix these guys but there isn’t much I can do. They love the comfort I suppose. I almost prefer the skinny pants to this…ALMOST, I said.

4. The Mystery of the 3/4 Pants
In the name of all that is holy…WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!?!? No no no..and one more giant NO! These pictures I took myself. I actually stalked men, on the streets, to get you these pictures. I wish I was kidding but this is a trend that needs to die. Die a very tragic death. I’m sure Karl Lagerfeld twists in his underoos at the sight of these.

5. Can you hair me now?!
OK here is one thing that I actually like. The dudes definitely know how to style their hair. In fact, they actually have more hair than the girls here. Blah…hate those short haircuts, ladies! Anywho, take for example the fantastic Mario Gomez who plays for the FC Bayern soccer team. I see a lot of guys with this hairstyle. It’s swiped to the side and gelled to high heavens!

There you have it my lovelies! Sit back, take it all in, and reevaluate your closet. Oh and…you’re welcome. 🙂

Until next time, Readers!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

Dress Like A German – Female Edition

Let me start by saying this is just an observation of the small southern area Im living in. This is not true for all of Germany but I’ve been here almost 3 years and have seen a pattern with the style of women here. Hate to break it to you all but they don’t walk around in drindls and lederhosen all day, unfortuantely. Here’s a few things that I found was culturally different from the women in the States!

1. Short hair don’t care
Truthfully, NOT a fan of this short hair look here. There are SOOOOO many girls, young and old, with this short hair. Most of the time, I can’t tell who is a boy or a girl from behind, sometimes from the front. But even my Italian hairstylist hates it! She says in Italy all the girls have long beautiful hair and here she prefers the clients with long hair…meaning, she won’t ever cut my hair even if I asked! lol. What a gem for being honest!

2. Blingy Teeth
Man, how I wish I was kidding about this. I think girls in the states wear these things too but I never saw this until I moved here. A diamond on your tooth?! Who sat around and said..oh, let me just bedazzle my tooth. Every time I see a girl with one I keep wanting to tell her that she’s got something in her teeth.

3. Scarf I say!
Scarves are great, I even have a collection of them. The difference is, I wear mine in fall, winter, and mayyyybe spring if its still cold. The girls here…they have a different idea about them. They LOVE to wear them all year round. They will wear a tank top with a scarf in 90 degree heat! I’ve even seen some girls in the clubs wearing them!!! HA! The Germans also have a very serious medical regimen. If you start feeling a sore throat coming on…you immediately start wearing a scarf. You commit to that baby and you wear that thing day and night…even while sleeping! However, I cant figure out how to wrap my scarf and these girls got it down to a science!

4. Mrs. Poopy Pants
I hate to say that these are so popular here. Looks more like an adult diaper with legs. Need I say anything more?

5. Point That Somewhere else
When I was younger…say, 18 years old or so, I went through a phase where I would go get my nails done. And I’m not talking about your typical manicure. This was with the whole process that filed my nails down to tiny slivers and at the end I had beautiful long very fake looking nails and then I realized how trashy it made me look but that was also back in 2002 or so. Here it seems almost EVERYONE gets this done.

6. Looking through Glass
When you think of Europeans what do you think of? Thin, fashionable (in some countries), scarves, v-neck t-shirts on men, cool shoes, and chic glasses in strange shaped frames. Am I close? Well, the glasses thing in Germany is for real. So many people wear glasses and I think most of them prefer to wear these over contacts. For example, many women wear glasses in the clubs (where I would choose to wear contacts usually), and many even wear them on their wedding day (which is an absolute
NEVER in my book). We think of glasses as “four eyes” and almost something negative but here it seems they think its fashionable and a part of their face. I don’t wear glasses at all so what do I know!

8. Now I’m Blinged Out
From blinging out your teeth to your nails…fret not my pet, there are more things to be blinged!!! Hair for instance!! I see this a lot when it’s a special event ie. wedding, anniversary, birthday celebration. Lots of ladies go to get their hair did and come out with an extra sparkle. These are the Bling strands. It’s available in the US, I’ve just never seen anyone do such things. Sparkle and Shine, Mädels, sparkle and shine!

Have you seen people in your country wearing any of these? Would you consider trying some of these Southern German fashions out?!

Until next time, Readers!!! xoxoxoxo