When I moved to Germany I didn’t really think that they had their own music. Of course they have music that is sung in German but do they have their own special distinctive sound? Well, I’m happy to tell you…there is such a thing! This is called, Schlager (Shh-Lag-Err) Music. I’ve asked a few people to explain to me what this is and the best way I can explain it is, “German Party Music.” It’s basically Barney on crack. Seriously.
The Schlager music is usually upbeat happy music talking about Love, Puppies, and Rainbows. True Story. To me, however, it seems like 70’s music with overwhelming smiles. Lots of keyboard effects maybe that makes it more like the 80’s even! But I’ll let you be the judge for yourself. Here are a few Schalger Singers that are pretty popular here. These songs are not normally played on the radio but they are known by the Germans since these songs are played at festivals and things. Now of course they have yodeling as well…one of my favorites is the song, “We are a Yodel Family.” Check it out..but then back to the Schlager stuff!
Back in the 60’s there was a tv show made around a boy who could sing these type of songs very well. Let’s start with Heintje.
Then we have the very popular Andrea Berg. She’s been around quite a while and has found herself as a guest judge on Deutschlands Superstar (basically German Idol.)
Here is the newest addition to the Schlager Singer world. She is in her 20’s and her beauty pulls at the heartstrings of all the men around these parts! Introducing, Helene Fischer
And my all time favorite…CHEESY CHEESY Fantasy. I’ll leave this for you to think about.
And of course the winner of Deutschland’s Superstar with her winning Schlager Song. Beatrice Egli
What do you think of it? How would you explain this type of music?
You’ve read some blogs where I complain about the radio here in Germany and instead of just my opinion, I decided I’d back it up with a play by play of what comes on the radio. I allowed myself….aka TORTURED myself through a few songs just for you. I know, I’m an angel. Consider yourselves warned…this is a RANT!
Now, This is coming from a radio station that lives by the slogan “Mehr Hits Von Heute” meaning…”More Hits From Today.” More like the recycled tapes they found in Elton John’s trash can. Anywho…before I go on another rant: This is what they played…you’re welcome.
1. Time by Imagine Dragons – Off to a good start! This is new-ish (overplayed in the US I’m sure but it’s new here.)
2. Hijo De la Luna by Mecano – I’ve mentioned how they listen to music from other countries…prime example and TERRIBLE song regardless. This is actually scary or something that would be in a bad spanish musical. Am I right?
3. Beautiful by James Blunt – Was cool 7 years ago, but ok.
4. Underneath Your Clothes – Shakira – Just stab my eyes with a fork. Please. So. So. SO horrendous! What did the world do wrong to deserve this? I say it all the time but HOW on god’s green earth did this chick get a record deal?!?! and WHY are radios still playing this crap?! Omg…just stop it. (I actually turned the radio off for this, I couldn’t stand it anymore.)
5. The Way It Is – Bruce Hornsby – Seriously?! Was I even born when this came out?!
6. Everything Changes – Take That – This took me WAY back. To a place I never want to go again. Ever. Again.
I’ll stop there because that’s bad enough but it gets much worse. Playing songs I LITERALLY have no idea what they are. A lot of Christian Rock music primarily because I don’t think they know what the song is about, language barriers and such. In the US we has specific stations for specific genres. We have the rock station, the top 40’s station, the hip hop and Christian stations. But here, they have satellite radio that is blasted throughout the region and there are like 4 stations to choose from. All playing the same old junk that the US disposed of ages ago. As a music person…it ACHES MY SOUL!!!!!! But for a radio station that claims it plays “More hits from today….” You’re all LIARS!!! I should take over and run the show!
However, I will say that for being over here they do play music from artists that I’ve loved in the past like my fav Irish band, The Coors and the incredibly talented jazz-pop of Jamie Cullam. Sadly, they’ve never heard the likes of Dave Matthews Band or most of the hip hop stuff which to me is a shame. Dave Matthews is a musical poetic genius and they are SERIOUSLY missing out…more like, I’m missing out on any European tours since they aren’t big here 😦
Anywho…go clean your ears out. I’m sorry for what I just put you through but you had to experience the hell I’m living in. Boy, do I miss the US.
Day 3 – Describe 5 Things You Will Never Learn To Love in Germany
First and foremost – HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!! LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!!!!! 🙂
Originally the challenge was to show a picture of you and your friends. Um, that’s lame and it’s not a challenge. Who posts a blog with only a picture? Not me. No thanks. So, I changed it. As I drove around today, I found several things that drive me UP THE WALL and I certainly will never be able to love these things. So, to give you a little taste of my usual nonsense, shall we?
1. You Shall Never Park
Not only are the streets small, yet somewhat manageable, the parking spaces drive me bonkers. The other day I had to park in a parking garage and about smashed into cars just to make my very own American sized parking space. They try to squeeze everyone into the smallest possible spaces. No room for error, let me tell you! And it’s not that all the cars are small here. Not everyone has the Smart car and all those other 3-wheeled vehicles you see in the Mr. Bean movies.
Also, I had to go shopping today and lord knows we had to drive around 8 thousand hours just to find a parking spot. No street parking. As a side note: I would like to add that the roads are so curvy, never a straight away so when you want to pass the slowest truck you’ve ever been behind when you’re in a rush, touch luck. You best sit back and enjoy the Sunday stroll!
2. Fashionista Suicide
I know my friends here will kill me for this (all of which I think dress beautifully) but it’s just the facts! I about go insane when I look at all the stores they have here. Back in LaLaLand, America I used to think that all Europeans were the fashion icons of the world and BOY was I wrong. It clearly is subjected to only select countries. Here, so far, the ONLY place thats of interest to me is H&M which in the US I never went to or very seldom. The rest of the stores look like you’re getting ready to either turn into a 90 year old or you’re going on a safari. Just no color and no fun! Some of the pants these girls wear make them look like they had a bit of an accident. NOT attractive by any means!
These pants aren’t too terrible. Most the girls wear these in khakis or jeans but this material looks like sweatpants and it’s horrendous. and rolled up at the bottom? STOP YOURSELF!
Do you see what I mean??? Accidents in the pants. These are considered super “trendy” right now. I would NEVER put my legs into those. I mean I can’t tell if this is a dude or a chick. And the back of these pants is just as saggy. No shape whatsoever. Nasty.
Back home, there are shoes galore, and beautifully cut dresses (my personal fave BCBG) and here you don’t have that. It’s all the same in every store. I want to DIE! Shopping used to excite me…now I get excited when I look at H&M….that has never happened before. It’s gonna be a looooong few years!
3. Did You Hear That?
I want to rip my ear drums out and soak them in acid. The radio. What a load of crap that is here! You have one station that plays oldies…as in German Oldies…as in the stuff you here inside the beer tent at Oktoberfest. Then you have another station that plays all 50’s, 60’s music. And then you have the rest of the stations which are all EXACTLY the same. They are the WORST stations possibly in the world. They trick you by playing something new like the latest from Kesha and then they turn around and throw Tina Turner at you and maybe some Bon Jovi. Can someone have ONE station that is all Top 40’s or latest pop stuff? Anything so I want barf all over myself as I’m driving anymore! Honestly. I’ve heard Dave Matthews Band played ONCE…and I actually think that was in a store via satellite or something. I can’t even remember it was so long ago. I’m hearing songs I haven’t heard since the early 90’s. It’s terrible…horrific. I need to buy blank CDs to burn..STAT!
This is an example of what is playing…all the time. Sounds like bad 90’s music…and this stuff is recent and popular. Oh and this show is on every Sunday, makes me want to shoot myself! (Scan to the middle of it, you can see what I mean)
4. Yes Ma’am
This is obviously something that I can’t change, but I plan on starting the process. In the US we approach everyone as “You, He, She…etc” Here you have to change your entire language based on whether you are friends with the person or not. Do you know how hard that is for someone trying to learn a new language? So, I started saying the “informal” to Doctors, strangers, etc…and NO ONE tells me to call them by the “formal” words. I think the newer generations don’t care how you talk to each other – the younger guys I mean, however the older people are fine with it also. I don’t know, I think it’s just annoying and added vocab that isn’t necessary!
5. Can I Borrow A Cup of Sugar?
Since we’ve moved in we’ve had zero neighbors come and introduce themselves. I thought about doing it ourselves until I realized. Everyone around us is a freak. Across the street we have 4 adults and an illegitimate child with serious psychological issues. The adults consist of an older woman and her three adult children. They love to peer out their windows into our house or watch what we’re doing/saying at every minute. Then to the right we have a brand new house where the neighbor (husband) on our first meeting at a festival told me that he loves me and sees me outside in the garden in my shorts on hot afternoons. Thank you, creeper for noticing! The rest of the community are big families with children everywhere and no one is friendly. NO ONE. These smaller towns hate when new-comers come into their village, especially Americans. So…my American flag is still flying proudly at the front of our house. And there it will remain until people smarten up and get on my good side.
Ha….After reading this over again, I realized I sound a bit bitter. Just my opinions…I think I’m in need of peanut butter. Which of course, I bought out the whole store when they brought in “American Peanut Butter”…it’s allll mine! 🙂
The Diary of Sugar and Spice 