I Joined A Nudist Colony and Didn’t Know It

Toblerone and I recently signed up for a new gym which is totally awesome. Every kind of class you can think of (currently sore from BodyPump), squash, and machines galore. I love it there and I think Toblerone found his new hobby too! Of course it comes complete with a sauna so that’s why he really loves it. And then…there is the women’s locker room. Full body nudity is gratuitously displayed.

This isn’t a newsflash since I’ve talked about this before, the whole nudity thing here is beyond what I can explain. Last night I think I went into a state of shock from being violated by a 250lbs (or more) ass looking me straight in the face as I tried to tie my shoe.  My head was bobbing from side to side trying to avoid being another casualty in the fight against body weapons.

So here’s the situation that I just can’t grasp and I know this is a cultural thing. For example, there were two girls just chatting away about Christmas and shopping, the usual chatter in a women’s locker room I would suppose but then there they went…both naked and continuing talking about what not and heading towards the communal showers together. Now, I have lots of close friends…and some of them I could handle being naked in front of, however, with a room full of strangers around us…I think not.

In the US, we all know the men’s locker room looks similar to this situation. The women’s locker room was always a bit nicer and more reserved because we are ladies and classy.  In the US we even have changing rooms which I used often. In this locker room here, there are no changing rooms at all. No individual stalls for you to get dressed or undressed in privacy. I could technically use the bathroom but that’s just gross and made for an ant.

Will I ever get over seeing nakedness? Probably not. Walking in and seeing a 75 year old woman standing there naked then bending every which way to get her things gathered is NOT a pleasant sight. Just sayin. The floor has never looked so good.

This is where the confusion comes in though. The Germans are very reserved people. You don’t see them strutting there stuff in mini skirts or low cut tops. They don’t sit around and talk about inappropriate things (like I do..lol) or boast about their sex life. It’s simply just not talked about.

The Americans, however are crude and much more relaxed about everything. We talk until we turn blue about things that are inappropriate but yet, we can’t just get naked. We’re much to reserved in that area. What is that about? I will definitely NOT partake in the Sauna experience at this gym. Co-ed nakedness is too much like a nudist colony for me! Good lord people! I did not sign up for this! I am not paying 50 Euro a month to see that! That’s what strip clubs are for!

The actual communal shower at the gym

Either way, I don’t judge them for doing what they do…it just makes me WAY uncomfortable and my working out experience has now been changed forever!The images….omg…they.will.never.leave.my.head!!! Now I’m really noticing how I was raised and the difference of how other countries raise their children.

In other news, my family will be here in 13 days and I could really use some American time over here! 🙂 NO NUDISTS ALLOWED! And don’t forget to like us on Facebook!!!

Until next time, Readers! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

European Way of Life

I’ve officially been here three weeks and a day. Can’t believe I’ve survived this long without knowing much of the language. Gooooo me! There are some vast differences (obviously!) between the US and Europe but adjusting to the Europeans way of life has luckily come easy to me. I’ve come to love the way they live and now understand why they are healthy, yet more vibrant and carefree about things. When we were in the US, Toblerone adjusted to our way of life and he loved it at times but there were definitely moments, I could see it in his eyes, he missed home. I now know why.

Going to the Deli section in the US is good but you get your ham, turkey, or bologna. You might get some pre-marinated steaks or chicken and call it good. Here in Germany, the meat section is a place of pride. It’s like a candy store…in a fleshy kind of way! I’m not a huge meat eater but I don’t knock it either. I can remember over the years every time, Toblerone asking me,  “One day I want the meat right off the animal, completely raw! Can you taste how fresh that is???”  Actually, I can’t…or should I say couldn’t. Now that I’m here, all I ever eat is meat or bread that is prepared that day or at that moment.

There is this butcher that was kind of enough to talk to me in English and he explained what each of the meats were that I pointed out in curiosity. He also told me that he comes from a long line of butchers in his family. I asked him how long they had been in business. Wait for it….wait for it, Americans. Since the 1400’s. That’s a LONG time. Can you imagine, first of all, knowing where your family came from and then being a part of this family business that has been around for hundreds upon hundreds of years! Thats amazing to me. We don’t have history like that in the US.

Mmmm…Breakfast!! 🙂 ——————————>

Along with eating fresh meat and fresh bread, these people are some of the most active that I’ve ever seen. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m lazy. Give me a day off and all I want to do is lay down in bed, watch movies, do a puzzle, nap…but not here. Everyone has the mentality to get up and do things. This isn’t a place to sit around and be lazy. There are walking trails EVERYWHERE and they connect into each town most times. There are always people – old, young, families, couples, teenagers, etc., getting out and getting active! Most times I see a lot of people rollerblading, biking, or using their very questionable Nordic trekking sticks. Shown here:

If you don’t have these fancy walking sticks, then you’re a nobody here. Also, it you aren’t active, then you’re pathetic and a waste to society. Ok…thats me just rambling and my feelings about what they think of me when I’m still walking around in my bathrobe at 3pm, inside, cleaning…lol. Whatever, I enjoy my workouts via computer, for now. Thank you very much!

Alcohol is clearly a big thing here, but they don’t make it into a big thing. Americans do. We freak out if a 16 year old is chugging down gallons of vodka but here it’s so casually accepted. You can have a glass of wine with your parents when you’re young and as you get older, you choose your own path. I’ve noticed that no one is excessively drinking or what we know as “binge-drinking.”  I kind of get it now. I think had we grown up in a culture where you aren’t desensitized from alcohol then you learn to control urges and not feel as if it’s some taboo thing. When I was younger, I drank to fit in, then when I hit the drinking age, I drank to have a good time, now I drink with dinner or socializing.

I do know many younger people here 21 -23 years old and they aren’t talking about drinking or getting out to the nearest club to get smashed every weekend. In fact, they prefer, at that age to sit and talk and have a glass or two of wine. If only I was that sophisticated at that age.  They are all also VERY serious about not drinking and driving. They have insane laws here if they catch you drinking and driving. Tobi and I drank a beer in the car, thats legal, but if your blood alcohol level gets past a certain point and you get pulled over, prepare to suffer SERIOUS consequences. Whenever we are out drinking, we always decide early who is not drinking and you get the finger pointed at you if you drink more than two beers without water in between. Alcohol free beer is also quite classy here.

I think this may be where all these crazy mixing ideas came from but they mix everything together here and it’s actually quite good! Here’s a few items that I’ve come to love and order on the regular:

Spezi – It’s cola with orange soda mixed. Quite amazing and is my new favorite!

Apfelsaftschorle – Apple juice mixed with carbonated soda water. It’s pretty good, although it’s the closest I can find to apple juice which is my favorite thing in the US. Not too big on the carbonated crap.

Radler – This is a lager beer mixed with lemonade. It’s actually pretty good and a good summer drink.

Gespritzter – Cola mixed with beer. This is seriously SO good. For those of us that want to drink beer and don’t actually prefer the taste, this is amazing. I tried it after a long day at the Christmas markets with Toblerone’s Tante (aunt) and couldn’t get enough! It’s like drinking coke!

Wine – they mix everything from cola to sparkling water or sprite with white wine. It’s pretty good, but not a favorite.

Along with the crazy drinks, there are crazy cakes (we’re talking 12-14 layers people) and amazing family get togethers. I can not let this one go without being mentioned. When you get invited for dinner, you are with the entire family. Everyone crowds around the table, talking, wine, great food served by course rather than all at once. Dinner finishes and dessert is licked off the plate and you don’t move from that point. You sit for another 2 hours or more and talk, tell stories, laugh, get angry, laugh again. It’s a cool set-up. I cherish these moments because this is not a custom in the US.

Spending time with the family is good, however, going to the Spa with them is NOT ok! I have yet to experience this, I’m terrified of seeing Uncle Frank wagging his willy around. Yes, my friends, nudity is accepted…and also co-ed in spas. You sit down for a nice relaxing moment in the sauna and BAM! men and women, all shapes and sizes are flaunting their goods like there is no tomorrow. Maybe I’m a prude, but growing up, this is not a custom we are clearly used to. Toblerone is dying to go to the spa with me every day and I can’t bring myself to go. I’m shakin in my boots to think about the idea of having to see this! Oh these Europeans, they never cease to amaze me…which I thought would be impossible. I’ve done it all, I thought, but oh how naive I truly am!

The Architecure is amazing but not whats inside. I’m sure eventually, I’ll get over my body issues and insecurities and give it a try….blindfolded. This place shown below is amazing. It’s in a town called Bad Aibling near Munich. You can participate in many very interesting attractions such as listening to underwater instrumental music, hot chocolate massage, 20 minute water symphony (a water show) from the comfort of a bean bag, or a scented sauna. How could I not want to make naked friends at this playground? I forgot to mention…it’s CHEAP! It’s just not fair….not fair at all.

More on my first German lesson later. Stay tuned, readers! It was quite interesting! 🙂

xoxoxo