Let’s All Go To The Movies

Every time I go by the local movie theater I always glance to see what has come out so I know when to download them in English. So often, the titles are so bizarre and out of context. I found a few that I found over the past few months to share with you! Check out the translations! Most of these they could translate exactly as it is…like the first one here, “The Last Song…” Easily could be translated to “Die Letzte Lied.” Not only that but that is what the book AND the movie is about! The Last damn Song!!! Just goes along with my theory that the Germans make life WAY more complicated than it needs to be. But moving on…. 🙂

I tried to just see what these translate to in Google Translate and it literally gives you the exact movie translation…not the literal translation. When I googled “Einmal ist Keinmal” google told me it was “One for the Money.” Google…you are LIARS!!! Thanks to Toblerone and my ridiculously large vocabulary of the German language *sarcasm*, I was able to translate for you just what each is! 🙂 Have a laugh or two! 🙂

The Last Song 

Mit dir an meiner Seite  = With you on my side

Charlie St.Cloud

Wie durch ein Wunder = Miraculously

A Walk to Remember

Nur mit dir = Only with you

The Lovely Bones

In Meinem Himmel = In My Heaven

The Parent Trap

Ein Zwilling kommt selten allein = A Twin Seldom Comes Alone

Grab Life By The Ball – Dodgeball

Voll auf die Nüsse – Dodgeball = Full of the Nuts – Dodgeball

The Notebook

Wie ein einziger Tag = Every Single Day

K-9

Mein Partner mit der kalten  schnauze = My Partner with the Cold Snout

One For The Money

Einmal ist keinmal = Once is Never

Dear John

Das Leuchten der Stille = The Light in the Quiet(Still)

An American Prisoner in German Integration Hell

Instead of taking notes like I should be during my class I’ve been writing down bullet points of all the things that annoy me about all the people in my class. We’re a class of 15 women. ONLY women which isn’t so bad. I started last week thinking/hoping that at least there would be ONE person from either England, Ireland, or America. Anything familiar would have been wonderful. Of course not…this isn’t heaven. It’s purgatory.

I’m not racist, not at all, but I have absolutely NO patience or sympathy for the stupid! We have women from countries such as Turkey, Tunisia, Serbia, Kosovo, Russia, Ukraine, Romania, Mazedonia, and Montenegro. (Note: The girls from Montenegro and from Russia are the only other smart ones in the class.) So on top of trying to figure out where some of these places are in the world and what kind of life they came from I have to juggle their names which are crazy.

For Example:

Nefise, Redife, Habibe, Dragana, Mevlude, Bouthoina, Zehra, Yildiz, Resavjc……. HUH!?!?!?! I’m sure my name isn’t any easier to them but I’m the only one who shortened my name to make it easier for those who have trouble. Not sure how you could have trouble with “Kait” but whatevs.

Our class is every week day for the next nine months – meaning I’m stuck in this hell until July. I spend 4 hours and 15 minutes with these people and I would rather spoon my eyes out. I don’t consider myself “Advanced” but at least I’m TRYING to learn something. These girls have every color pencil, pen, highlighter, eraser you can possibly imagine. Their notebooks look like Lisa Frank folders, however, they don’t have a clue what they wrote in it! Last time I checked people this is NOT an art course…it’s a LANGUAGE course! (Do you remember what Lisa Frank is? Let me remind you……)

Speaking of speaking…everyone mispronounces everything and it makes me want to punch a baby. I mean I’m not perfect either but at least if the word is in front of me, I try to read it correctly. If a word ends in the letter “l”, I’m not going to end the word with a “t.”

So besides the obvious reasons why I can’t stand these people here are the real reasons all these feelings sparked:

1. One younger girl, who is now pregnant, brought in her wedding album. She’s from Tunisia and I was interested to see all about her culture and how they do it. It’s totally different from what I’m used to and not something I would prefer but this is her culture. The rest of the class looks at it and a few of the girls told her she was really fat in her pictures. Um….do you have NO manners?!?!?

2. Then these same girls turned to another one and asked her if she was pregnant. Lets keep in mind she has a great figure, doesn’t look overweight, out of shape..nothing. NOTHING that would make you think she’s pregnant. RUDE. These people are complete scum.

3. The girls all sitting around me literally grab my workbook from me to copy my work. How are you going to learn anything, you morons, if you keep copying my work?!  And how about asking for my help first? And if you seriously don’t understand then I will show you! Seriously….going to punch babies.

So even though I’m stuck with these idiotic people I learned something. The Turkish women specifically all want to learn but they don’t have the confidence. Every single one of them said their hobby was cleaning and having children. That’s not a hobby. That has nothing to do with your personal interests. I felt sad for them. I also realized that maybe in some cultures people don’t have filters (ahem..scum sitting around me)…and some people don’t have support or confidence from those at home. I don’t know if this is true or not (minus the fact about filters) but I do know that people deserve a chance. So, I’ve decided to try a little bit harder every day to be a little bit more patient.

However, I absolutely have NO patience for the completely brainless ones that walk in front of the bathroom line. UM…we are obviously all waiting here! And I’m assuming it’s because of people like this that they were forced to put this sign above the toilet in the bathroom. This concerns me on so many levels. I wasn’t aware that not only are people here to learn how to speak German but also how to use a toilet properly. Does this worry any of you about the type of place I’m in?! HELP!

I have two teachers and one happens to look like my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Witter. Which is scary and comforting at the same time. The second teacher is actually quite funny but she can get upset when someone repeatedly doesn’t know the answer…which happens often. I don’t have it in me to teach this kind of class. There is no way. I’ll stick to my idea of teaching children English or in business where people actually act professional and like adults.

Anywho…I’ll keep trucking on…even though I have to pay 2500 Euro for this class. Crazy right? However…if I was married it would only be 900 Euro. Like that makes a lot of sense! Germany…you’re not impressing me lately!

No stress this week…I’m preparing for my Oktoberfest debut in my Dirndl! If I can remember….I will take pictures to show you guys! And…of course if I’m still alive the next day!

Until next time, Readers!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 3

Day 3 – Describe 5 Things You Will Never Learn To Love in Germany

First and foremost – HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!! LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!!!!! 🙂

Originally the challenge was to show a picture of you and your friends. Um, that’s lame and it’s not a challenge. Who posts a blog with only a picture? Not me. No thanks. So, I changed it. As I drove around today, I found several things that drive me UP THE WALL and I certainly will never be able to love these things. So, to give you a little taste of my usual nonsense, shall we?

1. You Shall Never Park

Not only are the streets small, yet somewhat manageable, the parking spaces drive me bonkers. The other day I had to park in a parking garage and about smashed into cars just to make my very own American sized parking space. They try to squeeze everyone into the smallest possible spaces. No room for error, let me tell you! And it’s not that all the cars are small here. Not everyone has the Smart car and all those other 3-wheeled vehicles you see in the Mr. Bean movies.

Also, I had to go shopping today and lord knows we had to drive around 8 thousand hours just to find a parking spot. No street parking. As a side note: I would like to add that the roads are so curvy, never a straight away so when you want to pass the slowest truck you’ve ever been behind when you’re in a rush, touch luck. You best sit back and enjoy the Sunday stroll!

2. Fashionista Suicide

I know my friends here will kill me for this (all of which I think dress beautifully) but it’s just the facts! I about go insane when I look at all the stores they have here. Back in LaLaLand, America I used to think that all Europeans were the fashion icons of the world and BOY was I wrong. It clearly is subjected to only select countries. Here, so far, the ONLY place thats of interest to me is H&M which in the US I never went to or very seldom. The rest of the stores look like you’re getting ready to either turn into a 90 year old or you’re going on a safari. Just no color and no fun! Some of the pants these girls wear make them look like they had a bit of an accident. NOT attractive by any means!

These pants aren’t too terrible. Most the girls wear these in khakis or jeans but this material looks like sweatpants and it’s horrendous. and rolled up at the bottom? STOP YOURSELF!

Do you see what I mean??? Accidents in the pants. These are considered super “trendy” right now. I would NEVER put my legs into those. I mean I can’t tell if this is a dude or a chick. And the back of these pants is just as saggy. No shape whatsoever. Nasty.

Back home, there are shoes galore, and beautifully cut dresses (my personal fave BCBG) and here you don’t have that. It’s all the same in every store. I want to DIE! Shopping used to excite me…now I get excited when I look at H&M….that has never happened before. It’s gonna be a looooong few years!

3. Did You Hear That? 

I want to rip my ear drums out and soak them in acid. The radio. What a load of crap that is here! You have one station that plays oldies…as in German Oldies…as in the stuff you here inside the beer tent at Oktoberfest. Then you have another station that plays all 50’s, 60’s music. And then you have the rest of the stations which are all EXACTLY the same. They are the WORST stations possibly in the world. They trick you by playing something new like the latest from Kesha and then they turn around and throw Tina Turner at you and maybe some Bon Jovi. Can someone have ONE station that is all Top 40’s or latest pop stuff? Anything so I want barf all over myself as I’m driving anymore! Honestly. I’ve heard Dave Matthews Band played ONCE…and I actually think that was in a store via satellite or something. I can’t even remember it was so long ago. I’m hearing songs I haven’t heard since the early 90’s. It’s terrible…horrific. I need to buy blank CDs to burn..STAT!

This is an example of what is playing…all the time. Sounds like bad 90’s music…and this stuff is recent and popular. Oh and this show is on every Sunday, makes me want to shoot myself! (Scan to the middle of it, you can see what I mean)

4. Yes Ma’am

This is obviously something that I can’t change, but I plan on starting the process. In the US we approach everyone as “You, He, She…etc” Here you have to change your entire language based on whether you are friends with the person or not. Do you know how hard that is for someone trying to learn a new language? So, I started saying the “informal” to Doctors, strangers, etc…and NO ONE tells me to call them by the “formal” words. I think the newer generations don’t care how you talk to each other – the younger guys I mean, however the older people are fine with it also. I don’t know, I think it’s just annoying and added vocab that isn’t necessary!

5. Can I Borrow A Cup of Sugar?

Since we’ve moved in we’ve had zero neighbors come and introduce themselves. I thought about doing it ourselves until I realized. Everyone around us is a freak. Across the street we have 4 adults and an illegitimate child with serious psychological issues. The adults consist of an older woman and her three adult children. They love to peer out their windows into our house or watch what we’re doing/saying at every minute. Then to the right we have a brand new house where the neighbor (husband) on our first meeting at a festival told me that he loves me and sees me outside in the garden in my shorts on hot afternoons. Thank you, creeper for noticing! The rest of the community are big families with children everywhere and no one is friendly. NO ONE. These smaller towns hate when new-comers come into their village, especially Americans. So…my American flag is still flying proudly at the front of our house. And there it will remain until people smarten up and get on my good side.

Ha….After reading this over again, I realized I sound a bit bitter. Just my opinions…I think I’m in need of peanut butter. Which of course, I bought out the whole store when they brought in “American Peanut Butter”…it’s allll mine! 🙂

Until next time, readers! xoxoxoxo

The Bathroom Of The Gods

It has arrived…it’s been installed….and it’s PERFECT!

And what is this you ask? Of course it’s obvious from the title of the post. OUR BATHROOM – cabinets and mirror!

When we were at the store picking this out it was hard to imagine this in the space we have but now that it’s here and installed…I’m super in love. I want to sit in this room every day…all day and stare at it. This isn’t so traditional and severely modern but I think it’s a good modern. It reminds me of a very expensive hotel bathroom in NYC or Miami.

Without further ado…… I present to you…..the bathroom installment of the gods. But first the Before Pictures:

ANDDDDD……. VOILA!!!!!!!

So it’s great. I don’t care what anyone says about it. I think it’s awesome….because I picked it out!!

After this was installed I then proceeded to head to a Zumba class which was crazy fun and the instructor, although it was in German, was wild and I’m excited to go back and continue doing it! Also, I was registered today as a resident of my town and will now be enrolling in a 25 hour/week German Integration Course. This includes serious language classes and culture classes. I’m very excited about this but now won’t have very much time at home to be a Hausfrau. All the better, this class is important and will ensure that I have the best quality of life here knowing the language and customs of the people.

All in all it was a great day and I’m looking forward to setting up our office now! The desk arrived as well and we now just need to put that together and decorate. Then my writing sanctuary will be complete and I can allow the creative juices to flow!! :-)))

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend! Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog on the right hand side under “Sweet Tooth.” Enter your email address and hit the button!!

Until next time, Readers!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Deutsch 101

I’ll be attending a German Language class for the next 20 weeks. Every Monday and Wednesday for 1.5 hours. This week, I attended my first one. My regular teacher was not there, but they did have a substitute. Thankfully, Toblerone dropped me off and walked me to the class which is located in a school.

For 180 Euro I get 20 weeks of this class, but I have to buy the lesson book and no snacks are included. What exactly are we paying for?? Anywho…So the substitute teacher immediately greeted me and asked me for my name in German. Ok, thats alright..I knew that much.

In my class there were many people representin’ (you know…trying out that city talk stuff) many different countries such as, Brazil, Hungary, Turkey, Portugal, Romania, and Australia. Only nine people total, including myself which is good. Did I mention this is a beginner class? Or it’s supposed to be!

The teacher began and not ONE word was spoken in English! GAH!!! Everyone had to go around the room and say, in German of course, Their name, where they are living, where they are from, and what languages they know. It was super difficult because well, I DON’T SPEAK GERMAN!! So, I tried to take what I do know and smush it into sentences. Then you had to turn to someone in the class and ask them about themselves, ummm…also didn’t know how to say this! I literally looked at the teacher with big wide eyes…hands in the air..shrugged the shoulders. I felt like I was back in 4th grade during math period. Mrs. Witter – I’m scarred for LIFE!!!

Class continued on and I found that the majority of people in the class were able to speak German. Oh great, I thought, I really am the dunce of this place! Thank goodness I pick up on languages fairly quickly. Keep in mind, I entered this class on their 6th night. They already had 5 other classes ahead of me and obviously had the basics. Our lovely teacher called on me several times and I didn’t have a clue what she was saying but was able to pull together and follow along and answer as best I could.

German isn’t difficult to understand, it’s just a matter of them speaking slowly and saying it over and over again. At first I was a little upset that they didn’t speak any English at all, how am I supposed to ask a question if I don’t understand how to ask it?? Ah, whatever….I hope by the end of 20 weeks that I will have a good understanding and can move on to the next level. I’m going to keep going until I can write blogs in German. Yes, I will surprise you! I’ll keep you posted on my survival progress through this course!

I’m dragging you all along with me through this!!! Can you believe I live here and don’t have a clue what is going on when people talk? I mean just imagine it for a moment. You’re doing every day things like going for a walk, to a restuarant, using an ATM, grocery store…and no one speaks to you in English. All German at first. Then you give that stupid look like, “Ummmmmm…..” and laugh uncomfortably. Yeah, thats me. The laughing stock of Germany!

 

See if you can understand what is being said – This week we learned family trees!

1. Lisa ist die Tante                                     

2. Andreas is der Onkel

3. Paul ist der cousin von Sara und Tina

4. Niko kommt aus der Ukraine

5. Elsa is die Oma

6. Otto is der Opa

7. Andreas ist der Sohn

8. Stefan, Robert, und Andreas sind Bruder

9. Lisa ist die Schwester

ANSWERS BELOW!!!

Now for the English translation. You’ll see what I mean that it sounds similar once you know the words!

1. Lisa ist die Tante         –  Lisa is the Aunt                             

2. Andreas ist der Onkel          – Andreas is the Uncle

3. Paul ist der cousin von Sara und Tina     – Paul is the cousin from Sara and Tina

4. Niko kommt aus der Ukraine      –  Niko comes from the Ukraine

5. Elsa ist die Oma         – Elsa is the Grandmother

6. Otto ist der Opa       – Otto is the grandfather

7. Andreas ist der Sohn             – Andreas is the son

8. Stefan, Robert, und Andreas sind Bruder     – Stefan, Robert, and Andreas are Brothers

9. Lisa ist die Schwester         – Lisa is the sister

 

Primo! Bravo!  For now, I have some homework to do. Let me get to it!