I booked my one-way ticket last night and feeling a bit overwhelmed quite frankly. I didn’t realize that I’m into my last two weeks of work (praying my boss doesn’t ask me to stay longer.) I can’t believe it. I work two more weeks, and then two weeks to visit everyone I love and then I’m out.
I’m slightly concerned because I still don’t have that ping of sadness pulling on me just yet. I don’t want it to hit me the day I leave. I can’t handle being sad AND flying. That’s a recipe for disaster! Flying alone is terrifying enough…I don’t need to add in the fact that I won’t see my sweet mommy for god knows how long!
Slowly, I’m stressing out more and more. I can feel it. I’m not sleeping, I’m nervous, having a hard time remembering things. Malarkey! I’m holding on hard to the promises of friends and family who pledge to visit this year. I need that more than anything. I need my best friends and Americans around me until I get completely secure. Is that weird? I’m moving to a European country where life is incredibly simple and people are kind but all I want is Americans around me. Not being racist but it’s similar to Asians who come to America or are born in America, they always seem to be together in big groups. What is that? I guess I can relate now. I just want a piece of home with me. Trying to “Americanize” a German home with European furniture is quite difficult. Say goodbye to comfy cozy….and hello to straight modern lines.